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This week we have a guest post from Crystal Tao who runs the blog Love Love China.? Her blog covers everything about Chinese girls and she does a fine job of doing so.? No doubt our regular readers will be familiar with her blog which has hosted Kevin?s Lysistrata series over the last few months.
While YFFM is focused on cross cultural relationships and issues within Taiwan, Crystal brings us some insight from across the Strait.? Things are not always straight up in cross cultural relationships, nor are they in cross strait relationships.
We hope you enjoy what she has to say and would like to hear your views and experiences.
Without further ado??? Crystal.
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Although LoveLoveChina?s topics revolve around females from mainland China, from time to time discussion in the blog switches to our Taiwanese sisters.
When it comes to interracial relationships between (mainland) Chinese and Westerners, most of the issues and conclusions can be easily extrapolated to Taiwanese and Westerners: sheng nyu (?leftover girls?), princess syndrome, language exchange as a flirting strategy, MCH problem (money-car-house) and so on?
Someone who succeeds in Taiwan?s dating/marriage market will do equally well also in mainland China. Take, for example, Bonita?s instructions on ?How to get any girl in Taipei?:
A lot of women in Taiwan place so much emphasis in a potential hubby?s credentials. Tell them that you?ve graduated from an (insert Ivy League university name here), and see their eyes shine and their hearts swoon.
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Guys, if you want to be a heartthrob here in Taipei, just get a Harvard/Stanford/Yale degree and you can get almost any girl you want in Taipei. Doesn?t matter if your personality sucks or you?re a jerk.?
This is possibly the reason why infamous Chinabounder, after being expelled from Shanghai, happily landed in Formosa.
Observant eye, however, will notice some subtle nuances differentiating between the females from both sides of the strait. What do you think, for example, about the following comparison of Taiwanese and Shanghainese ?girlfriends? :
On Stockton Street yesterday, Savage Kitten passed a Chinese man and his slut-temptress sex doll Taiwanese girlfriend. She did not immediately identify the female as Taiwanese, but when she recounted the experience, it was obvious to me that the person in question was such.
You see, only Taiwanese girls still play the pouty whiny spoiled money-lenders? plaything role to perfection.
It?s a combination of high falsetto little girl voice, adhesive behaviour, and ego-stroking flattery. Sure, Shanghainese tramps also attempt the act ? but without the pampered bitch attitude and that syrupy four-year-old sexbombe voice, it just isn?t the same. The Shanghainese practitioner of the art always has a note of sleazy desperation, but the Taiwanese wanna-be kept woman has so perfected the saccharine mewling that weak-willed men do not even realize that their brains just melted.
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Well? if there are so many similarities ? how do the relationships between Taiwanese and mainland Chinese themselves work? I asked this exact question some time ago in Chinese forum, iAsk. [The quotes below are taken from the answers in that forum]
Just like the interracial relationships between Chinese and Westerners have noticable imbalance (more Western men dating and marrying Chinese women than Chinese men dating and marrying Western women), relationships between Taiwanese and Mainlanders have their own patterns.
- 80% of marriages between Mainlanders and Taiwanese consist of ?old husband and young wife? types, where the husband is Taiwanese. Mainland women are not treated equally compared to their local women. There is a lot of prejudice and no symmetry.?
But things are changing.
- I think that the latest tendencies are positive. Age structure of such marriages becomes more normal and the widespread phenomenon of old husbands with young wives is decreasing. I see more marriages between young people with higher education and this is a good beginning.
Understandably, politics wasn?t left out.
- Love between Mainlanders and Taiwanese is not something extraordinary. After all, we have the same culture and we are the same people. Nowadays, mainland China is more open than in the past. Some coastal cities are already not bad compared with Taiwan and Hongkong. As long as Taiwanese is not pro-independent and Mainlander is not some kind of ?wu mao? there shouldn?t be a big problem.
- I don?t think that there is any need to involve politics into such matters. We are all human beings and we love in the same way.
- There are a lot of problems between two sides (Mainland and Taiwan) and the difference? in ideology and politics matters a lot.
And what do you think? Is the dating game in mainland China and Taiwan different? And does politics matter when it comes to inter cultural relationships?
Crystal
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Source: http://yffm.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/relationships-strait-up-strait-forward/
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